So much to say...

and have no clue where to begin....(edit...this is long.)

God has been up to some crazy stuff in my life lately...and for quite some time I have just been in a "waiting" period. I will say I realized this about November. Anyways...the challenge to me though..knowing I was in this time in my life...not sit and wait...but be active and wait. Live for today...I won't get another. Minister today...because I might not see that person again. Don't waste time. So I have been and am continuing too. During this time I realized the challenge out there for be to begin my ministry here in Dallas...I thought I would wait for a while before it began, but God knew..but I didn't know where to begin...well I prayed and it was like floodgates...So many opportunities came up and I knew I couldn't argue with God to do them. My big excuse is that I am a working girl now, my job is in the school, I am too old to do anything else. Well, WRONG AMY!

So this weekend came one of those opportunities that I got asked to do...a D'now weekend for a church in Keller that I am not familiar with at all. I came into the weekend tired from the week at school and not sure what to expect at all. I get a group of 9 girls who are Sophomores in high school. Well I realize this and I kind of get mad because I had requested to have junior high girls and plus I wait 2 hours sitting there because I thought we were to be there at 3 and we didn't start til 5. (which I was right about the start time but most people couldn't get there til 5 so we didn't start til then) I, also,feel as if I am being a bother to the ministers at the church because I have to leave for a time on Saturday morning. So many excusese and later I get over my "Amy fit" I just say God you have to use me in ways you only can because I don't know what good I'll be. So I meet the girls and for the most part they are all cheerleaders and again I think "Oh no...what have I gotten myself into." But as you will tell...God had other plans. I am going to share my God moments of the weekend.

So Friday night comes and we are in worship and my first "God moment" comes...We are worshipping. There was a line in a song that ministered to me "Strength will rise as we wait on the Lord." It was like God hit me with two ton bricks...I just was knocked down...realized God is using this time in my life to get strength and it is HIS strength only that I can live on...no my own. WOOSH! Just real cool for me to hear.

Well during our time the whole weekend the girls just weren't into the D'now...just very cauloused to the whole concept...they have the churchy answers...but just weren't grasping the weekend. I leave Saturday morning and come back...and I am ready! I am not real sure what...but I just hang out with them...it was different...cause I just loved on them....really I just spent time with them. So for "God moment" #2 was in Saturday's worship night...we were in the invitation part of the service and I am still not sure at all about my girls...but it was time for the decision and they had to make the choice. Well I just started like hardcore praying for these girls right there not holding back...laying my hands on them...and BELIEVING! Next thing i know one goes to the alter and she is there for a while...I start praying harder...like God do your thing...Minister now! Let this be a turning point for them...one that they will always remember...next thing I know I look up to my whole group at the alter at different places praying. Needless to say...I lost it! I was so pumped because I knew God was working in them...It was so cool because through the night I saw the transformation of how open they were to Him in our discussion last night. (I don't say that because it was necessarily my prayer...but it was cool to see God transform these girls just a lil' last night in worship.)

So last night at the end of our discussion we were through and I was just going to get them to write out their struggles and pray over them...but something told me to share my story...so I told them. I didn't hold back...it was God moment #3...as for the first time all weekend each girl was listening and eager to know more of my story and what God had done in my life. (So I was hit upside the head again as God said...Amy, I am using you in ways you don't even know.) So I just challenged the girls to write down what is going on in their life and as they prayed for these situations in their life that I was committing to pray too. These girls wrote and wrote and wrote. The things these girls were going through are situations I can relate to in so many ways...as it is parent issues, boys, friends, or school work...or just life in general...holding on to so much but yet not letting go because of fear. I challenged them to let go so they could be used.

So for "God moment" #4 was this morning when I was hugging them bye I felt compelled to just hug one lil' girl real tight and say don't forget I am praying and I understand. She looked at me with tears to whisper "Thanks...no one seems to understand and I just know you do." Then I hugged another girl and she said..."Thanks for the weekend and I love you." These moments were so neat to me because all I thought was how could I relate or how I could I minister to these girls...but obviosly...God moved and used me in ways I never knew.

I don't say all of this at all to boast about me...but completely boast in what God did this weekend and what He is doing right now around me. so yes when we let ourselves surrender...we can be used in ways we never thought possible.

1 year

So this time last year I was setting off to pursue my dream of coming to Dallas...I came, got the job, then moved in August. Now a year later it is swapped. I visited La for Spring break and came home to Dallas. So much has happened within the last year that I have not a clue where to begin...only to say it is a year of many firsts and many changes. No Regrets!!!

Saturdays

I absolutely love my Saturdays...they are my days...but can be very busy. Today I was supposed to go to a meeting this morning and then it would continue for 10 weeks on Tuesday evenings. i didn't go...i am sure I let someone down...but somewhere I have to say no and take care of me. But Saturdays are my days to sleep, to rest, to clean, to run errands...to relax.

So much is going on in my mind today....i wish i had some answers...but yet I continue to pull away little by little...just wondering when the REAL will come out.

Continuing to wait...continuing to believe...continuing to love.