Thoughts of the night...

Tonight my heart breaks for a little boy who needs physical healing so he doesn't hurt anymore. Tonight my heart breaks for a little girl who needs spiritual healing of the heart because she doesn't believe. Tonight my heart hurts for the neighbor who will spend Christmas without his family. Tonight my heart for my girls who just want to b loved. Tonight my heart sees the sacrificial giving of a friend and her family cuz they know others are suffering worse. Tonight my heart hurts for a man that loves Jesus and needs to find his peace. Tonight my heart hurts for a woman who is being hit at every angle and just needs to believe. Tonight my heart hurts for my students as I want them to know the true me and my truth. Tonight my heart hurts for my coworkers who need a touch. Tonight my heart hurts for my family because we miss each other so. Tonight my heart hurts for my friends as too many are hurting around me. Tonight my heart hurts...tonight my GOD heals!

Christmas survey

1. Wrapping Paper or gift bags: normally bags but I have wrapping paper this year
2. Real or Artificial Tree: artificial even though I like the smell of a real tree
3. When do you put up the trees? The week after Thanksgiving
4. When do you take the trees down? The day after Christmas or now when i get back to my apartment from home
5. Do you like Eggnog? Never tasted it.
6. Favorite Gift received as a child? My real life baby doll I got when I was young
7. Hardest person to buy for? HA! Everyone!
8. Easiest person to buy for: My parents
9. Do you have a nativity scene? yes it is the first thing I put out.
10. Mail or email Christmas Cards? mail
11. Worst Christmas gift? people who don't take time to get gifts that are for you...they just buy bulk...it upsets me
12. Favorite Christmas Movie? Any Hallmark/Lifetime Christmas movies...
13. When do you start shopping for Christmas? Normally it is the day I get out of school for the holiday til christmas eve when the stores close! HA! Not this year! I am done!!!...started after Thanksgiving...
14. Have you ever re-gifted a present? YES
15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas? Polish mistakes and Olive Cheese bread...
16. Lights on the tree? white
17. Favorite Christmas Song? I have Seen the Light, I'l l Be Home for Christmas
18. Travel at Christmas or Stay Home? Travel ever year...now. :)
19. Can name all of Santa's Reindeer? yes
20. Angel on the tree top or star? mom has an angel and I ahve a star
21. Open presents on Christmas Eve or Morning? Christmas Eve at Mom's and Christmas Day Night at Dad's
22. Most annoying thing about this time of year? that I actually dread part of the holiday.
23. Favorite ornament theme or color? red and gold
24. Favorite for Christmas dinner? Spaghetti and Meat Balls
25. What do you want for Christmas this year? As great as Christmas as Thanksgiving was.

my thoughts for today

there is strength in waiting.
there is joy in the morning.
there is peace is in the meantime.
there is hope in the end.

Strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord

This was yesterday's verse in my devotion...and when I jsut read it in this version...it meant just as much or more to me now in my present situation. I guess because it had verse 3-5 with it also...so I know God has not let us go and it all has to be in his timing...His timing is not early, his timing is not late...but right on time...even we don't understand and life just sucks!

Philippians 1:6 (The Message)
3-6Every time you cross my mind, I break out in exclamations of thanks to God. Each exclamation is a trigger to prayer. I find myself praying for you with a glad heart. I am so pleased that you have continued on in this with us, believing and proclaiming God's Message, from the day you heard it right up to the present. There has never been the slightest doubt in my mind that the God who started this great work in you would keep at it and bring it to a flourishing finish on the very day Christ Jesus appears.

This morning though I read in my same devotion book Jeremiah 29:11. How many times growing up did we hear this verse...but this morning the plans for peace and hope...stood out to me like it never had before.

Jeremiah 29:11 (Amplified Bible)
11For I know the thoughts and plans that I have for you, says the Lord, thoughts and plans for welfare and peace and not for evil, to give you hope in your final outcome.

I want you to know you are being prayed for and aren't going through this alone.

Love them BIG

Bored...

I am: hopeful
I have: a job I LOVE
I dislike: fake people
I miss: my family/friends in Louisiana
I fear: that I will mess up His Plan
I think: my decision was a good one
I know: My Savior Lives
I have no idea: what tomorrow holds
I want: a phone call ;)
I hope: that I am being fair
I feel: sick
I smell: nothing
I crave: to feel better
I cry: when I am mad, sad, upset, happy...ALL THE TIME!
I search: for my phone
I wonder: will it really work?
I regret: not saying anything before
I love: nights at home in Texas and defintiely Louisiana
I care: students
I always: am clean when folding laundry
I worry: if I am doing the right thing
I am not: perfect
I remember: being picked up from school from Papa Red
I believe: God still reigns
I dance: to the music in my head
I sing: too much
I don’t always: know
I wish: this dream will come true
I listen: nothing on my ride home
I don’t understand: how people tell u one thing but do another
I can usually be found: in Texas
I need: a hug
I forget: the past
I am: Amy, Amosann, Poop for Brains, Ms. Scharf, Scharf, Ames

The small things

So lately I have been real distracted with just business and it has caught up with me, my health, and my job. I am having to make some decisions and just to set back. But through it all I have realized who mean the most to me and who I know will always be there. It is nothing like the small things in life that you just can't live without...but you take forgranted all at the same time. For those of you who know who you are..

Thank you for loving me, believing in me, pushing me, saving me, encouraging me, praying for me, most of all...jsut being there for me.

Monday blues

Why does Mondays have to be so crazy? I feel as I am still trying to keep up at school and this week/weekend is the dreaded grades are due weekend! AGH!

This is just a shout out to all my Young Life peeps because I know you are reading it. Tonight I am burdened for some of you. Know that I am praying for you and am blessed to have you in my life. Together we will get through this!

YEAH for life! YEAH for Mondays! YEAH for random phone calls! YEAH for random texts! YEAH for family! YEAH for friends! YEAH for you!

Loving you, Loving them...always with FAITH!

When I was a kid I longed to be adult

When I was a kid I longed to be an adult.
When I was kid I longed to go out at night, now that I am an adult I long to stay in.
When I was kid I longed to drive my own car, now that I am an adult I long to be driven.
When I was kid I longed to be on my own, now that I am an adult I want to be at home.
When I was kid i longed to be responsible, now that I am an adult I don't want any.
When I was kid I longed to go out all weekend, now that I am an adult I want to stay home and rest.
When I was a kid I longed to be with people, now that I am an adult I like to be alone.
When I was a kid I longed to be the teacher, now that I am an adult I want to be a student again.
When I was a kid I longed to watch NO sports, now that I am an adult I watch it all.
When I was a kid I longed to have everything dirty, now that I am an adult I have become OCD about cleaning.
When I was kid I longed to be an adult, now that i am one...I want to be a kid again.

Weekend

Wild and crazy! Does my life ever stop? Sometimes I make it. Friday evening after work I
went to the eye doctor to get glasses and got home about 7. Ran into a guy in the parking lot of my apartment complex...he noticed my car and asked my about Young Life so that was way fun! :) So then I came in to watch The Diary of A Mad Black Woman and laughed my head off! Saturday had to get up to go to a YL leader meeting and get ready for Muckfest. I don't think I want pudding, vegetables, fruit, mustard, Ramen noodles...for a long time. And definitely after tomorrow night won't want them ever again! Then I rested some to then go to church last night and then to watch the game at BJ's and hang out with fun girls from my community group. We ate, drank, and played Phase 10!!! when I got home I realized my air was out again...the 4th time this summer! So after I got to sleep late! (What a blessing!) I called the apartment complex to come fix my air. Ran some errands....went to that awful place called walmart. Then hung out with an amazing girl to get our movies back, share life, and just hang out for a few hours. CLEANED!!! It is amazing how dirty an apartment can get when one person lives here! Then tonight I went to watch the Cowboy game with some friends. I am trying to get sick with my crazy allergies but what is new. My Papaw tells me I will always have them.

This week will be CRAZY!!! Tomorrow night I have muckfest with Young LIfe which will be a HUGE food fight!!!, Tuesday I will be home but will be getting my nails done!. Wednesday is Open House to which I dread! and WL leader meeting at my place. Thursday ngiht is community group, Friday night is Wyld Life. Saturday is a Young Life training that I have to go to with all YL new leaders. Saturday night and next Sunday I will CRASH!!!!

Oh so cool God is teaching me about his new mercies every day. how blessed I am. Grace. Forgivness, Love.

OH...and 4th week of school = 10 criers and 1 vomitter.

Loving them BIG!
me

Headaches

So I have been wanting to blog for a while but sometimes I open it and don't do a thing. Tonight I have a terrible headache again. This bad headache #2 in a week that has completely washed me out. I don't like being put down like this.

Funny thing happened today as that cute sub was across the hall again today! But he was married. :( I laugh often out here in Texas because I had the mindset at home...that I could careless what I wear let alone look like. Well I ran into a problem last year with a sub being cute and single....then looked like crap when I went in for a dr appt one time. It was was hilarious to all those who are the closest to me. So today I dressed nice for some reason being crazy with wearing a tie that is big and bold...and walking into school see 3 nice looking men today. 1 married (:(), 1 dating someone but really wierd situation (:/), 1 IDK but no ring. AGH! The life of a single woman!

Today is my Papaw's Birthday! I love this man! Happy Birthday! If you read this...it is your shout out!

If you read this...drop a line...cause I don't know who you are! :)

Still believing, still having faith, still loving...
me

Day 2...Snooze day!

So I survived day 2 of 6th grade for the third time. It was much easier today than the first. I did wake up and press snooze for an hour this morning. oops! HA! I felt horrible...these dang allergies in Texas. I felt better as the day went on but still so much to do! AGH! Just trying to stay afloat...whatever that means! I came home to take a 2 hour nap before meeting friends for dinner...it was great fun! I had 2 more students almost cry on me today...I tried to nurture them back...some think Iam so funny then some think I am CRAZY! and then they cry! Oops!

I am trying for tomorrow maybe 3 crying? Who knows! Tomorrow I will begin explaining me and then the process of the class. I know I am wierd...I love my life...I love my job...I love math...and I want these kids to have fun with life too!

Loving them BIG!
Amy

Exhuasted?

Have you ever been so tired that you couldn't hold your eyes open?

Yes, that is how I was last night. It was horrible! I FINISHED MY ROOM!!! and it was like all energy just left. I was in bed at 8 pm last night with the ringer on silent and lights out at 822!!! I woke up this morning about 8ish wide awake and felt great! Today I had orientation with my students. This morning were my 6th grade babies from last year. I actually was sad this morning to let them go...but it was so good to see most of them! They were precious cause they were so excited to get their schedule and for me to see! They think they are so cool because they aren't 6th graders anymore. Sally actually told me to suck it up because I was so sad. I loved all the hugs! :)

Then my new babies came. The deer in the head lights look from everyone...my beautiful blue shirt and my smile just drew them to me and I had the look that I knew what was going on...to which I didn't! :)

So this weekend I rest as I prepare for the next week o' meetings!

Excited to see what is instore!

Loving BIG with Faith.
me

The latest...(this will be long)

edit first...I passed my Texas teacher test at the first of May...so that allowed me to "play" this summer.  :)  It only took me a year...but you know God is still FAITHFUL!

So I started the summer off just as I do every summer...just praying...God use me, change me, and let it be a summer that I can remember.  One the schedule: 3 camps, RESTING, 2 weddings, RESTING, atleast 4 visits home, RESTING, 1 week of PreAP math course for school, RESTING, moving my classroom, RESTING, finding a home group at the Village (thevillagechurch.net), RESTING, lunches with friends that I can't ever have because I am a teacher, and whatever else pops in the schedule.  (That makes me tired just reading it.)  Not ever realizing the challenges that would come, the fears that I would face, the possibilities I would have, the changes that would be made, and God most of all continuing to show me His will in my life.

I began my first week of summer moving  my classroom.  Mom came over to Dallas and helped me box up the classroom to which we completed in about 3 hours.  KB was a hause...I was so proud and was proven to how weak I was and how the double my age lady put me to shame!  The next weekend I went home for several days to see the family for Father's Day and spend time with the men love me the most in my life.  I went to my dad's for two days to hang out with him and then to Papa Red's and Papaw's for three days to come back to do my first camp.

The next week I volunteered with our Wyldlife 8th grade camp.  (younglife.org)  This is the week that God really just started the prep work as I wasn't sure what to think.  I had not done a camp with Wyldlife before but Sally Purdy just knew I had to do it with her.  So that week we stayed here in Dallas area and did camp.  We served here in Dallas, played, and had club.  So this is the week that I quit being "Ms. Scharf" but the fun adult by just playing with the kids.  I also realized I don't follow directions well nor do I understand directions well!...such as driving directions!  HA!  But what stuck out the most of this week is the fear that I conquered and really just doing it.  I rode the rollar coasters at 6 flags with the girls and they just loved it.  Then we rode it about 7 more times! I ended up loving it!  But I realized even more here...that I have to meet the students where they are before I can get deep with them.  It proved worthy as I got to share with these students what a quiet time meant to me...but most of all LOVE BIG and just play with these incoming freshman.  God here broke ground on my caloused heart to ministry this week.  (After this camp Sally and I met up to chat and realized that she really didn't need me to go to the 2nd camp as we didn't have many girls going.  I said that is ok as I had so much going on and I could rest.)

The next week I completed the PreAP course that I had to take for my district.  It was long but fun.  I did learn somethings and I was the class clown of the group...everyone was so on edge at times.  I threw a piece of paper at a friend of mine across the room to which I hit the teacher..oops!  I said I learned it from my principal.  But the last day is when I grew up and taught all of these on edge math teachers something from my class.  I learned this week that no matter my age I can still make a difference to old stoogesand LOVE BIG the adults around me and even the teacher!  (During that week I got to go see Hairspray on Broadway downtown with a good friend of mine!  It was so fun to dress up and play.  We had dinner first then conquered downtown.  This is one blessing being in Dallas...Broadway shows!)

To which the next week I came home to spend time with my family and with the Heatherly family as Emma was getting married that Saturday.  This week I was able to hang out with my parents and just celebrate time with them.  It means so much that I can just be with them and they love me the way I am.  At the end of the week I spent with Sarah to help with the wedding extravanganza!  It was a happening needless to say and we were all so TIRED! 

I came home that Monday to spend the week in Dallas and hang out.  Well I met up with Sally and her son, Jack that Thursday for lunch.  (I taught Jack last year.  He is Sally's baby that she cried over the first day of school when I met her and told her to Suck it up...we woudl take care of him.  He became my Jackman and I became his safety at school.)  So during lunch Jack asked if I was packed for camp yet to which they were leaving on Saturday.  Well Sally and I forgot to tell him that I wasn't going now because they didn't need me.  Well that didn't set well with him...after trying to talk him into me not going...He jsut would not have it...so I went to Wyldlife camp II at Carolina Creek.  I had NO clue what I was getting myself into...didn't even know where I was going!  I just knew to show up at Sally's 11 am on Saturday morning!  HA!  She kept sending me texts on what to pack!  Never knew what God would teach me that week and use my Jackman to push me...

So we show up on Saturday and Sally tells me we will only be on the road for about 3.5 hours.  HA!  So we load the bus and I realize I have 4 of my students whom I taught this last year on this trip.  I introduce myself to the girls and just hang out the entire ride down.  It was fun for those guys to see me not as "Ms. Scharf" but as just Amy.  Needless to say that liked me much better that way....is that a good thing?  Durign the week each day was a new day and we didn't know what we would be doing  until right before it happened....so I was left in anticipation.  Well as soon as we got there we were handed our schedule for that day that told us we were doing the ropes course that day.  So we immediately got to the cabin changed and went to the course.  Ok so keep in mind I am terrified of heights!  So all of the girls went and conquered their fear and I was still yet to go.  Well none the less does Sally get in my face and told me I am doing this because the kids are watching.  Woah...that hit me like a ton of bricks!  So a long story short...I did do it...we quoted scripture, i cried, we sang, i yelled, Jackman cried, He yelled, then we swang and it was over!.  It took me an hour and half to complete the course that was 40 feet in the air...but what was so cool about that was how it bonded us girls.  Did I mention we only had 4 girls to go then Sally and I as girl leaders along with Kelli who came 2 days late?  Well that night though during cabin time...it was so cool to talk about our fears and how we conquered them! I will NEVER forget that night as we talked about fears and how God has conquered them...then we talked about what GOD CAN DO!  It was a very very sweet time each night with these girls as they were so hungry to know about faith that is theirs and noone elses.  The highlight of the trip for me is when I talked with one of the girls one on one and when I asked her where she was in her faith...she wasn't sure.  I told her we could nail it down there..so I answered her questions and quoted scripture...then we prayed.  IT WAS AWESOME!  We just cried and hugged.  So the rest of the week we played, we played, we got dirty, we played, we got wet....we just bonded...and you know once again...met the students where they were at, conquered another fear, and LOVED BIG in an amazing way.  Once again the caloused was breaking but noone knew this.  Well atleast I didnt' think so.  On my way home I called Mm to tell her about the week to which she said "Amy, that is why you moved to Dallas." I had never thought of it that way and even more overjoyed at what God was doing in my life.

During the next two weeks I continue to pray about what God was doing in my life and also started going to home group with The Village Church.  These girls are nothing like me but yet we have common ground as to just to do life together.  It is really sweet how God fearing and accepting these girls are...how they love our GOD and how real they are.  I rested this week and just loved life out here in Dallas.  I went home at the end of the week with a very heavy heart about YOUniversity (high school camp at my home church)...This was the 16th year of camp and my 14th time to go...it is like it is in my blood to go.  So I left asking people to pray that my fears of not being able to be used when I don't know the kids anymore...I am not there...oh I had tons of excuses!

So I had to be at church 5 am that Monday morning!  AGH!  As soon as I got there it was like all of the fears went away because of the students that were there...my girls who I had shared a room with last year and then my first group of 6th grade students who I dearly love!  So much happened this week but the one night I remember the most was the Wednesday night when I was able to pray with a little girl that I was at the hospital when she was born 15 years ago...but the exciting part was to talk to 4 other girls that night about their faith.  They had questions, too, and we nailed it down!  I was so amazed because God is so good and so there when you need strength...because I was tired, empty, and dry.  But taht night was so sweet as I got to share parts of my life to help with these girls...but just LOVE them BIG in ways I never imagined...then the next night to be there when 3 of them were baptized and to show their peers they were not ashamed anymore!  Ofcourse I cried...but after this night I was completely broken and couldn't fight it anymore.  There were other moments of that week that were memorable to me also but this is long enough already.  But I asked my pastor at home (http://web.mac.com/kmwlht/iWeb/portico.com/PORTICO.html) to pray with me because I did not understand fully what God was up to and needed some guidance.  He and his wife are very dear to me so I was ok with him knowing what is going on.  So we prayed and I just knew it was right with my surrender to the ministry....but another question came up...do I move home to do this?  So once again this is a week that changed my life again...I was able to meet the students where they were...play with them...get wet, get nasty, LOVE them BIG! and just to PRAISE GOD from the incredible week!

I am home with many questions and needed much prayer.  I talked with Mom about it and a few others about the ministry thing and the move.  I left Louisiana with a very, very heavy heart and tears.  In the year that I have been gone I haven't ever left like that.  My dear friend sent me a text that said, There are students in Texas that need ministered to, also.   I came back to Texas...just needed guidance...almost a clear sign of what was going on here in Texas and why I was here.  How could God use me over here?  Well Dumb Amy...should have no doubt...cause God is sovereign and will show me.  Another great brother of mine told me Amy, you need to realize where ministry happens?  Is it only in the church or can you do it in your school too?  When I walked into my school last week I just knew it was right as I was happy to be there and loved seeing everyone with open arms hugging...it is such a family where I work...just being able to LOVE them BIG.  On Sunday night...Matt Chandler said something to the effect of always give praise and glory to God of what He was doing in my life...I was just blown away with that as this summer the work that was done in my life could only be credit to God and noone nor nothing else.  I got in the car and was driving home when a song came on that said...though I can't see, I still believe.  Well I didnt lose it coming home as that is all I could think of...I am in a fog...I can't see a darn thing...but Yes, God I still believe.  So I just prayed earnestly that night God what is it...clear my head...I need to be used today.

Well Monday...I had dinner with some friends who I serve with in Wyldlife and we were talking about the camps this summer and such.  To which one of them looked at me and said Amy, you are great...I am so glad you are in my life and the lives of the girls' around us.  You have so much to offer.  I was floored with this as I don't see it here and definitely in just every day life.  Then that night I got a phone call from a friend from home who was struggling with life and was able to listen, encourage, and pray for her.  To which God knocked me upside the head to say...it doesn't matter how far you are away or where you are...the most important thing you can do for someone is pray and it doens't matter if you are 4.5 hours away.  When they need you they will call and you will pray.  So once again I was thank you JEsus...so that night I come home to read and pray...seek HIM...cause so much had gone on that day to which when I open my devotion that night it talked about just one step is all we need to see.  It hit me pretty hard because right now I want to see the big picture...but all God wants me to see is the next step and He will show me the rest.  Well I kept reading and I read about how Abraham had to leave everything he knew to pursue God and God's blessings in his life...That was my answer and it hit me like a ton of bricks!  I knew without a doubt then I was right where I need to be here in Texas serving in my school being the 6th grade math teacher, serving my students when they hurt, serving my friends whereever they are...most of all LOVING BIG and PRAISING HIM!

So there you have it, my update of where I am in life and what God has been doing.  It has been a wild ride, but I give GOD all glory and honor!

I start my 4th year of teaching on Monday.  I start my 4th year of serving in the public school system on Monday.  I start the membership class of The Village Church in October.  I start living in Dallas another year.  I start seizing the opportunities God puts before me whereever I am.  I start being nice to someone today.

So this is me, being real, being open, serving, LOVING BIG...most of all having FAITH!  Though I can't see...I still believe.

Will I ever?

Last night, you made me cry and you don't know it.
Today, I realize I miss you and you don't know it.
I am tired of the games and you don't know it.
I am tired of being the friend you want only when you need me and you don't know it.
You can make the maddest (Is that a word?), and you don't know it.
You can make me smile in the same breath that I cry in and you dont know it.
You hurt me and you don't know it.

I know you will always be there. It is all so true and everyone around us knows it but us. I honestly do not think you realize what you do to me or how I feel at all. When will I ever have the guts to tell you or When will I ever have enough and walk away?

Tonight, I do want to tell you all of this and so much more...but will I ever?

Storms

So I want to write so much tonight on storms but I have no idea where to begin and dont really want to think hard about it...just know that it is coming...My storm journey started about 2 weeks ago...

Lived through a special moment this week...grew alot...but don't want to do it again! All I could do was sing...God, You're my God,...and I could ever praise you...Then it was quoting Psalm 23 and Phillippians...

I'll write soon...processing.

So much to say...

and have no clue where to begin....(edit...this is long.)

God has been up to some crazy stuff in my life lately...and for quite some time I have just been in a "waiting" period. I will say I realized this about November. Anyways...the challenge to me though..knowing I was in this time in my life...not sit and wait...but be active and wait. Live for today...I won't get another. Minister today...because I might not see that person again. Don't waste time. So I have been and am continuing too. During this time I realized the challenge out there for be to begin my ministry here in Dallas...I thought I would wait for a while before it began, but God knew..but I didn't know where to begin...well I prayed and it was like floodgates...So many opportunities came up and I knew I couldn't argue with God to do them. My big excuse is that I am a working girl now, my job is in the school, I am too old to do anything else. Well, WRONG AMY!

So this weekend came one of those opportunities that I got asked to do...a D'now weekend for a church in Keller that I am not familiar with at all. I came into the weekend tired from the week at school and not sure what to expect at all. I get a group of 9 girls who are Sophomores in high school. Well I realize this and I kind of get mad because I had requested to have junior high girls and plus I wait 2 hours sitting there because I thought we were to be there at 3 and we didn't start til 5. (which I was right about the start time but most people couldn't get there til 5 so we didn't start til then) I, also,feel as if I am being a bother to the ministers at the church because I have to leave for a time on Saturday morning. So many excusese and later I get over my "Amy fit" I just say God you have to use me in ways you only can because I don't know what good I'll be. So I meet the girls and for the most part they are all cheerleaders and again I think "Oh no...what have I gotten myself into." But as you will tell...God had other plans. I am going to share my God moments of the weekend.

So Friday night comes and we are in worship and my first "God moment" comes...We are worshipping. There was a line in a song that ministered to me "Strength will rise as we wait on the Lord." It was like God hit me with two ton bricks...I just was knocked down...realized God is using this time in my life to get strength and it is HIS strength only that I can live on...no my own. WOOSH! Just real cool for me to hear.

Well during our time the whole weekend the girls just weren't into the D'now...just very cauloused to the whole concept...they have the churchy answers...but just weren't grasping the weekend. I leave Saturday morning and come back...and I am ready! I am not real sure what...but I just hang out with them...it was different...cause I just loved on them....really I just spent time with them. So for "God moment" #2 was in Saturday's worship night...we were in the invitation part of the service and I am still not sure at all about my girls...but it was time for the decision and they had to make the choice. Well I just started like hardcore praying for these girls right there not holding back...laying my hands on them...and BELIEVING! Next thing i know one goes to the alter and she is there for a while...I start praying harder...like God do your thing...Minister now! Let this be a turning point for them...one that they will always remember...next thing I know I look up to my whole group at the alter at different places praying. Needless to say...I lost it! I was so pumped because I knew God was working in them...It was so cool because through the night I saw the transformation of how open they were to Him in our discussion last night. (I don't say that because it was necessarily my prayer...but it was cool to see God transform these girls just a lil' last night in worship.)

So last night at the end of our discussion we were through and I was just going to get them to write out their struggles and pray over them...but something told me to share my story...so I told them. I didn't hold back...it was God moment #3...as for the first time all weekend each girl was listening and eager to know more of my story and what God had done in my life. (So I was hit upside the head again as God said...Amy, I am using you in ways you don't even know.) So I just challenged the girls to write down what is going on in their life and as they prayed for these situations in their life that I was committing to pray too. These girls wrote and wrote and wrote. The things these girls were going through are situations I can relate to in so many ways...as it is parent issues, boys, friends, or school work...or just life in general...holding on to so much but yet not letting go because of fear. I challenged them to let go so they could be used.

So for "God moment" #4 was this morning when I was hugging them bye I felt compelled to just hug one lil' girl real tight and say don't forget I am praying and I understand. She looked at me with tears to whisper "Thanks...no one seems to understand and I just know you do." Then I hugged another girl and she said..."Thanks for the weekend and I love you." These moments were so neat to me because all I thought was how could I relate or how I could I minister to these girls...but obviosly...God moved and used me in ways I never knew.

I don't say all of this at all to boast about me...but completely boast in what God did this weekend and what He is doing right now around me. so yes when we let ourselves surrender...we can be used in ways we never thought possible.

1 year

So this time last year I was setting off to pursue my dream of coming to Dallas...I came, got the job, then moved in August. Now a year later it is swapped. I visited La for Spring break and came home to Dallas. So much has happened within the last year that I have not a clue where to begin...only to say it is a year of many firsts and many changes. No Regrets!!!

Saturdays

I absolutely love my Saturdays...they are my days...but can be very busy. Today I was supposed to go to a meeting this morning and then it would continue for 10 weeks on Tuesday evenings. i didn't go...i am sure I let someone down...but somewhere I have to say no and take care of me. But Saturdays are my days to sleep, to rest, to clean, to run errands...to relax.

So much is going on in my mind today....i wish i had some answers...but yet I continue to pull away little by little...just wondering when the REAL will come out.

Continuing to wait...continuing to believe...continuing to love.

I told you so...

This week has been incredibly busy but i have learned alot. The past two nights my times with the Lord hve been amazing...days at school have been ok. My evenings I am just realizing how much I enjoy being me and having "Amy time" and no one to report to. The last several days amongst my craziness I have just sat and enjoyed the hour long conversations with people...not the surface calls...but the how are you...for real conversations. I read people really well and definitely when I know the person as well as I do...I can read them over the phone....they don't very well like it. But it is nice to get off the phone and just realize we had church right there...listening, ministering to each other...loving each other...

What I am continuing to learn...is I am waiting...not pausing....I am doing life now...but waiting and believing...because in HIS POWER...HIS will will be done.

I continue to learn how blessed I am with real friendships/relationships...no matter the distance. Real community happens anywhere.

I am not a "I told you so" kind of friend and ofcourse I HATE hearing it..but tonight it is ok for me to be told "I told you so."

Words I needed to hear...

I am your Guide. Strength and help will come to you. Just trust Me completely.

Firsts

tonight I write my first blog on an actual blog site.

tonight I let someone give my number to a stranger.

tonight I went to dinner with a "New BFF"

tonight I finally talked to the hooker.

tonight i am getting organized.

tonight I need to clean.

tonight I fixed my cable/tv.

tonight I am just being Amy.

tonight I am BEing. RESTing. LOVing.