The Pearl

In every oyster there lies the ability

to produce something rare.

Truth like a grain of sand will produce

the pearl that is hidden there.

Young woman you are often mocked and scorned.

And told you never should have been born.

You want to run away, to hide your hurt.

Your heart is wounded, bleeding and torn.

God makes not mistakes

every life is special,

every life is planned.

Seeks can sprout in sand.

Open yourselves up to the Spirit of God

Grow in grace and maturity

Be what He wants you to be

Your beauty your strength lies deep within you.

Young woman, young girl,

open yourselves up to God.

Allow Him to reveal the pearl.

--Sylvia Hannah

Remembering what I learned

Disclaimer: I am going to try to post on here a little more often than I have been doing.

This weekend I was reminded of one of reasons I wanted to get away of a small town just to come back and be so proud of it. HA! Amazing how God does these things.

I left home to pursue an identity to be nobody's certain child, granddaughter, or anything. Not that it was ever a bad thing but growing up in the environment I did I was always known for this. Well now that I have come back home...I couldn't be more proud for the identity they laid out for me and I carry today because of them.

What triggered this was on Sunday morning when I was meeting new students I knew I recognized a student but couldn't place her. Then she told me who her mom is, so it all came together. This lil' girl didn't really want me to know her like that because like me (before Dallas) she wanted her own name. So I have made sure to place her in my head as who she is and not anything else.

All of this to say brings me to: Where is your identity? Is it in someone? Is it in something? Is it in you? The most important thing that the people before me taught me is to have my identity in someone bigger than any of us ever could be, CHRIST. If I am known as His child then everything is going to be so much better. We were made in his likeness. We were created to worship and serve Him. He is our Daddy, Abba, Father. He is our strength; he is our shelter. Everything and everyone falls under Him.

So my question to you: Where is your identity? Who is it in?

As always...loving them BIG with FAITH

WOW!!!

How much my life has changed since the last post was made. I survived the end of school and all that it brought it about...plus a complete move. I moved home with no job but new that is where God wanted me. My time in Texas was great but new when it came to an end that was it. So now I am home living with the parentals for a time until I find something.

Now I do have a job at the church as the girls associate and activities director. I am super pumped about this new adventure in my life and where God has me for such as a time as this.

so until then...I'm continuing to LOVE big WITH So MUCH FAITH!

What to do...

I have so much going through my head and don't have a clue where to begin. I could pack. I could plan. I could rest. I could sleep. I could hang out with friends. I could work. I could play. I could watch a movie. I could go home. I could...you fill in the blank. Lately I have chosen just to rest. The past several weeks have been a bit crazy in my head and my body and rest hasn't happened...but I am enjoying it now. Yes I am sacrificing some things and people...but my body is telling me to rest.

I find comfort in the fact that on the 7th day God rested. There is reason in this...we should live by his example. We should hold truth to the fact that rest is very important. Sometimes resting is not relaxing on the couch...but maybe resting from something...or resting/chilling with a friend...or resting/playing with your family...or maybe it is just resting in HIS presence.

One of my sister friends came me a bracelet for Easter and has the scripture..."Be Still and Know that I am God". I wear it everyday and it reminds me each time that I touch it...Stop, Be Still, REST...and Know HE is God.

So that is my thought tonight...
Loving BIG with Faith.

Sleep...

What is it and where does it come from?

My grandmother told me to try it that I might like it. This made me laugh real loud. Well I do enjoy sleep but I have very awkward sleep patterns. I would rather sleep during the day than at night. Naps are seriously my best friend and I love them except when I take them so late in the evening and then can't sleep at night. This causes a problem because I have to be an adult durign the day. If you wake me up from sleep...God bless...because I am normally not very nice.

this post has no meaning. Sorry.

Where are you?

So my life is crazy right now...if you haven't heard I am definitely moving back to West Monroe. It has been a great 2 years here in the great state of Texas, but it is time to go home and be with my family. God has taught me so much since I have been here and I wouldn't have traded this adventure for anything! So with moving comes so many changes and emotions. Life couldn't ever be just simple I don't think...but through this again...I am learning to trust HIM and no one else. Just last night I was reminded of Proverbs 3:5-6.

Trust the Lord with ALL of your heart and lean not on your OWN understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and He will make your paths straight.

There is so much uncertainty and unknown right now with my life but just as making cookies...you got to put the yucky stuff (ingredients that taste gross alone) in there to make them taste better...we have to go through trials and situations so that we will trust HIM more to make each situation a good tasting cookie.

So still Loving BIG with faith. Trusting HIM!

Not because I don't have enough to do already!! This just sounds fun and different.
Oh, and because I love you. lol
The first five people to respond to/comment on this post will get something made by me. There are a few caveats to this amazing offer, and strings attached, so please read on…- What I create will be just for you.- There are no guarantees that you will like what I make.- It'll be done this year (2009).- No clues what it's going to be, but it'll be something tangible made in the real world. It might be a fresh batch of cookies. It might be a mix CD. It may be a haiku. I might bake you something. Who knows?-
I reserve the right to do something extremely strange -- although I probably won't.

Here's the fine print:In return, all you need to do is post this text into a note of your own and make 5 things for 5 others.

Cell phones

Have you ever realized how attached you are to your cell phone? or atleast how no matter how far someone is from you...they are still not that far from you cuz within just a few moments you can communicate with them. I remember losing my cell once while at youth camp but it was ok because I had several around me that had theirs that I was ok without it unless I was REALLY needed.

Well I had this checked over the last several days with Mom losing her phone. I dont thinnk it would have been so bad if I wasn't sick. I dont talk to mom everyday on the phone but we do communicate someway everyday. So with me being sick and them being out of town...not just out of town...but thousands of miles away with very good friends...I wanted to talk to Mom often to know what they were doing. Well I couildn't. The golf tourney wouldn't let them have their phones on the course so I couldn't talk to them. Moma didn't have her phone so I couldn't text her. PPR doesn't nkow how to text so I couldn't call and just say "hey!" cuz that would have been rude....so I survived...and I got better.

What was even funnier is that my grandmother was having trouble with my mom not having her phone...what did Mamaw do for 50 years? but you know...Mamaw saved the day because she would text me often during the day...yes my Mamaw! She's great...she told me she would fly to take care of me if I jsut gave her the word. Well she didn't have to...I got better...

Well then the craziest part to me was this morning when Mom called to check on me and to let me know they got home (10 hours later...cuz she didn't have texting)...she called from my home number that I have had for 26 years and I did NOT recognize the number! HA! Go figure!

Well brings us to tonight...Mom's phone works again or she has another...I think she called me and texted me to tell me...and I was asleep so I got..."Are you ok?" So yes I have Mama back to communicate with...and no more withdrawels of not being able to communicate.

so learn from this story: Do not take your phone with you to the bathroom...your phone may not survive...

The story of my heart....

John Waller - While I'm Waiting

I'mwaiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am hopeful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it is painful
But patiently, I will wait
I will move ahead, bold and confident
Takeing every step in obedience
While I'm waiting
I will serve You While I'm waiting
I will worshipWhile I'm waiting
I will not faint
I'll be running the race
Even while I waitI'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am peaceful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it's not easy
But faithfully, I will wait
Yes, I will wait
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve you while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting on You, Lord

So many times...

throughout the day I have something in mind that I think to myself...oh that would be a great post but then at night when i sit to write...I forget all those things...maybe that's good...maybe that's bad....

I am getting ready to go on my spring break which is well needed. I always dread the day tomorrow and spring break of every year because every year something life changing happens since I was in junior high...so i embark on this journey...knowing the next week will be lifechanging and I face my HUGE fear of the unknown. Tonight I cried...not because I hate life or that I am sad but someone very dear brought to my attention that I am scared but someone bigger is in charge. It is all going to be ok...I just can't get past the trees right now to see the forest. Right now I would LOVE to know what the big picture is...but then I am reminded of where is my FAITH in my God. He hasn't let me down ever and why would He now. JEremiah 29:11 is strongly claimed tonight! For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to PROSPER you and NOT to harm you, plans of a HOPE and future!

So where is your faith? Who are you seeking?

So as I still seek...as I still wait..I still pray...i still believe...I still trust.

FInishing strong!

I don't know...

lately I have had so much goin through my head and clearing out so much. I dont know what to say on here but it has been a while since I wrote I thought I wuold just say hi. No news is good news at this point.

I have taken alot away in my life right now to just focus on my relationship with Christ...it is amazing what He can teach you when you focus only on him..start your day with him and end your day with him. I am rather enjoying myself with that time I have and what He is teaching lately. Here it is... Seek...wait...trust...seek...wait...trust...then finish strong. Also of God's faithfulness...

So this my update...1 week til Spring Break!!! :)

Always...loving BIG with FAITH!

Peppermint teacher...but is it more...

So I just had this written...and it deleted! AGH! So I try again!

This year I became the "peppermint teacher" but no more because I love gum and am not supposed to chew it anymore so I have peppermints on my desk. It didn't take long before my students began wanting some and I thought how great a small blessing would be to my students. I wasn't sure how I would use this but it has became a teachable lesson to me with my relationship with Christ. I hope to relate it to a teachable lesson to my students also at the end of the year. My rules to which just kind of happened...If a student asks then he/she gets a peppermint. Sometimes, I do say "No" either they didn't ask appropriately and/or the timing just isn't right during class.

So this week while I was doing my Bible study I came across this scripture JAmes 1:5-8. (5If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. 6But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. 7That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; 8he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does.)

Here are my thoughts:
1. Just as we are to Ask God who gives generously...my peppermints are normally given generously...but not always...sometimes I do say No because it isn't the right time or not the best for them. How often do we hear NO! when it is just not the right time for us, there is better for us out there, or our prayer might hurt us. Hmmm?

2. If the student does not ask appropriately or mumbles...I will wait til they believe and not doubt themselves. They knwo they have to ask again because I look real confused on purpose. (Now I know God always knows our requests but how often do you think he wants us to BELIEVE when we pray?)

3. Also I have students who will ask for a peppermint for his/her friend because the friend is not around. How often do we pray for our friends because they do not what to say or are not around to pray.

25 RAndom Things...

Rules: Once you have been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you.To do this, go to "notes" under tabs on your profile page, paste these instructions in the body of the note, type your 25 random things, tag 25 people (in the right corner of the app) then click publish.1. My pajamas never match.2. I only fold clothes when I am clean. I will only put clothes in the washing machine when i am dirty (not right out of the shower) then change them to the dryer when I am clean as well.3. I take a bath/shower before I got to bed so I will be clean when I get in clean sheets. If I go to bed without being clean then I wash my sheets the next day.4. I hated my mom's spaghetti and told her not to cook again...we only use Ragu. She hasn't. I still have yet to figure that out. (I hurt her feelings)5. I hate to read for comprehension but I love to read. I didn't read books in school like I was suppose to.6. Math makes my heart happy. I have wanted to teach Jr High math since I was in jr high. I actually cried in my interview for my first job because I was so passionate about it.7. I love making a different in young people's lives especially junior high kids and girls of any age. This is my passion.8. I miss being dropped off by Mom for school and being picked up by Papa Red. Those were the days when everything was ok.9. My favorite drink is a Strawberry/Coke Icee. (the coldest drink in town)10. I got my license when I was 15 but didn't start driving til I was almost 16.11. My best friend in high school was also named Amy. We were Amy Squared. Though we do not talk often we can pick right back off where we ended.12. My middle name is Mamaw's, Mom's and mine. It stops with me. I hate it. 12. I also do not like my first name because there were so many Amy's growing up that I could never be just Amy. I was always Amy S. (Mom loves the name Amy...and dreamed having a little girl named Amy.)13. My grandparents and parents are my heros.14. I became a Christian when I was 8 and was baptized on Mother's day. I surrendered to the ministry when I was in high school.15. I grew up in the same church that my grandparents met in and my mom grew up in.16. I have wanted to be a teacher since first grade.17. Nobody loves me more than my Papaw. (Nobody can ever love you as much as your family. I've learned that the hard way.)18. I HATE apples and bananas.19. I love to sing but will sing infront of you.20. I have two brothers that are much taller than me! Try 6 feet and growing and 6'5".21. I am on my way to be the next "27 dresses" girl. (I either have too many best friends, can't say no, or they are desperate.)22. I love antiques and crosses.23. Jewelry/Accessories are a HUGE deal to me. You will never see me without some form of jewelry on. Most of jewelry are heirlooms from my family.24. I love M&Ms and Skittles. They will always put a smile on my face.25. My relationship with Jesus is everything to me. I am very blessed to be loved as He loves and know that His grace is sufficient to me.

Believing in Miracles

Tonight I had the urge to write again...sometimes I get the urge to write like devotions or something...but here are my thoughts. Let me know what you think.

In your life have you ever been where you can't see God and you would like to know what He is up to? You have been praying, praying, praying, and you can't see what He is doing. You feel as if he is doing nothing and/or not hearing you. You are tired everything around you seeming to cave in and you feel as if you can't take it anymore? This list here could go on and on...

That is exactly where I am today. This past semester of school I have been praying for so many different situations...healing, illnesses, family, friends, relationships, jobs, coworkers, students around me and I feel/felt as if nothing is happening. I feel as if there are no miracles being done, no prayers being answered, no step in a new direction, no guidance...almost as if there is no higher power.

Then 2 nights ago I had the urge to read back in my journal just to see what life was like a year ago, 6 mths ago, 1 month ago, 1 week ago, etc...and I was able to see God's faithfulness and His miracles all around. Lately I have had some very eager prayers on my heart for healing for those around me and extra strength in me...but I was reminded these are being answered. These people I am praying for...myself included...had another day to live, another day to grow, another day period. These people I am praying for stepped ahead in life...are fighting the good fight. These people I am praying for...God is touching their lives...even if it isn't visible to the naked eye. You know how I know this...because they are not the same person and I am not the same person I was a year ago. We are not the same as we were 6 months ago. We are not the same we were 1 month ago. I was able to see God's faithfulness in carrying me through life's trials. I was able to see God giving me strength to fight when I didn't want to fight any longer.

I was also reminded yesterday of this verse that I have read and quoted so many times "Jesus said, 'What is impossible with men is POSSIBLE with GOD.'" Luke 18:27

So my question I ask you...What area of your life are you lacking believing in because you aren't seeing the visible miracle or the BIG miracle? What can you give to God so you can have peace again? What can you do today to look back in a month and say that changed my life?

My answer: I am not going to quit praying. I am not going to quit surrendering. I am not going to quit trusting. I am not going to quit living. I am not going to quit believing...because with MY GOD all THINGS are possible!

My heavy heart today...

With a very heavy heart I send this email because my boy is hurting so bad. Granny is suffering too and I just feel as if I have dropped the ball somehow. If I wasn't in this wedding this weekend I would just stay here but I can't help God's timing. I know I have not updated you all like I should and I haven't made the caringbridge site either. God really knocked me down when I told a little boy in an electric wheelchair to give me a ride because I didn't feel good. He is like well I don't either my sinuses are messed up. It was like God hit me with two ton brick...Amy...you can walk, you are healthy, you are alive...Why are you complaining! Then seeing My Ira talking to Granny...i just break because I have no reason to complain.

I really have no update. The doctors do not much at all with the tests that they have been doing. We know that Ira will probably have to be in the hospital again to run more tests. The kidney doctor realized his left kidney is almost double the size of his right. His asthma is totally flaring right now to which we thought that is why his chest his hurting (more on that in a minute) and his blood pressure is not steady by any means. He has been complaining all week of his chest hurting and today when I saw him he actually looked good but then not an hour later Granny calls me to tell me his heart is racing and she has called the heart doctor to which he said bring him in immediately. Well she called back an hour later and they were in admissions at a local hospital. :/

I will be goign after school tonight to see him/Granny. Ira was to be baptized this Sunday and he is SO EXCITED!!!! I don't know anymore than this. I have a VERY heavy heart with this...but you know God has healed too many people and proven Himself faithful in too many circumstances. Granny and I talked this morning about God's timing and how it is always right on time

(Ira was my student last year that I just fell in love with. Granny is his grandmother that takes care of him. I am just apart of the family so it is just great and funny to all around us. Ira doesn't listen to many people but will to me. I just took him under my wing last year to which in return Granny adopted me too. ;)

You never know how much you have until It's gone.

Today/Tonight I have been doing so much analyzing it is crazy! I knew waking up today it was a different day as this day 8 years ago I almost lost one of the most important people to me, my grandmother. Mamaw passed out with a bleeding anourysm (sp?) on her brain. That night the doctors gave her a 50/50 chance to live. Mamaw doesn't remember much that night but she remembers me coming in the emergency room holding hands with her, Mom, and Papaw and me praying for her. FRom there they sent us to Memphis for Mamaw to have surgery on her brain. It was to be a coil surgery but when we got there we realized it would be straight up open brain surgery. Long story short...2 weeks to the day of us going to Memphis, Mamaw, Papaw and Mom drove home to Louisiana from Memphis. Mamaw is a walking/talking miracle today. If you were to see her today you would not know of her surgery. Mamaw...I love you. You are so special to me and I am so thankful God healed you on earth.

But also today one of my students from FCA interupted my classroom to let me know that another student's dad had passed away last night. This little girl is in 6th grade and she has two older brothers in high school then a 5 year old brother. I do not teach her but she believes alot in me as she came to me yesterday asking me to pray for her and her family. I had to look at her and say how God sometimes heals on earth and sometimes He heals by taking our loved one home. With tears in our eyes I had to enjoy my day yesterday knowing that a little girl was hurting so much and had to live her day yesterday. Today though life was completely different for her as someone she believed in so much...she has had to watch suffer and pass away.

So all day I have been thinking about how many in my life I take forgranted daily. My family live 4.5 hours away and they completely support me being in Dallas. I have lost many people in my life and they never knew how much they meant to me or how much I loved them. One thing I have realized lately that some people do not realize how much I care about them or how much I love them. I am making it my goal this year to show this more....if it is my family, my friends, my coworkers, my students, or a stranger. I don't know if mercy is that answer...but if you are reading this know that though I don't show it often or sometimes do not know how...You mean so much to me. I love you dearly and am thankful you are in my life. If God were to take you away tomorrow you will know how I feel. Consider yourself loved and hugged.

So I leave with my title...YOu never know how much you have until it's gone. I thought I was learning this that Saturday night of my senior year in 2001 but a little girl did have to learn this way too early last night.