Crazy life...lately

I really don't know what to write on here right now except how priveledged I am.  This week we went to junior high camp at Student Life.  I felt as if I was living in a glass box as 25 girls were watching my every move and I was there for them whenever they came running.  These girls look up to me in so many ways that I have never realized until this week.  As I was sharing with them the HOPE of my salvation and WHY I believe what I believe.  Then one day I shared of my quiet times with the Lord and why they are so important to me.  Other times we were just diving into scripture and discussing it together.  Sometimes I even had to be mean (yeah i know hard to imagine) and make them go to bed.  Other times I had to teach them/guide them about some different behaviors.  I explained to them the love I have for each of them doesn't even compare to the LOVE our heavenly Father has for them...

but you know once again...these young ladies...taught me more than I could ever teach them...To some of them they want to be just like me...they want what I have...but you know...May I direct them only to the one who has made me, molded me, pruned me into the lady I am today.  I am nothing without my Savior.  I am who I am because HE is my Hero and my Everything.  He doesn't fail me.  He doesn't leave me.  He shows me the next step.  So may I be faithful to HIM to show/minister to these girls as others have done with me...and most of all may these girls see HIS love shine thru me. 

Jesus, Thank you for teaching me.  Thank you for using me.  May I continue to LOVE others BIG with a faithful FAITH.

Lately...

I have so much going through my head and am being taught.  I still enjoy these times of being the clay and He the Pottter

but tonight I am just going to comment that I am blessed more than I can imagine. 

Sometimes I wonder why God chooses to use me as His vessell but you know what...He's still working on me.  He's still working with me.  He's still using me.

I continue to try to LOVE BIGGER that ever...always seeing/believing with FAITH.

It's a matter of the Heart...

This week I have been challenged so much.  STarted with the reading of this week's high school devos and preparing for Sunday...then the week just exploded on me. 

This week I was able to serve my girls as a celebration.  I heard so many heart felt stories...so many life changes.  So much good...no greatness from this study.  I heard heartbreaks that the study was over...but you know...this study opened up so many girls' hearts. 

Then I had the privelege of serving with our church staff for the funeral of a deputy that lost his life while protecting us.  So many heart moments there just to sit back and watch this band of brothers...love each other in blue.  People who don't know each other..hugging and weeping...knowing they carried a bond...that is straight from the heart.

But what about serving my family...everyone of us seem to think we have the best family and parents...but I am here to tell you my peoples can rank any of yours.  I love the heart of my mother who always wants to know her baby girl is ok and serves others in the same way.  The heart of my stepdad who wants to make sure I have everything that I should or you know he is ALWAYS available to give me the hug that I need.  The heart of a best friend who knows some days are longer than others and is there with a simple, heartfelt...How are you? 

But more than any of this...it is always a matter of my heart...Does it feel?  Does it break?  Does it weep?  Does it hurt?  Does it long for the relationship?  Does it long to be healed?  After weeks like this...I am thankful that there is a God who is bigger than me that can take all of this...and make it ok.  YOu see...without him...we are nothing.  Without Him in our life...these people can't serve, these people can't feel.

 With HIM though...I am able to serve and believe.